Pregnancy Priorities vs Newborn Reality

When I was pregnant, I spent hours scrolling, reading, and planning. I wanted everything to be perfect, the nursery, the feeding supplies, the hospital bag checklist. But once my baby arrived, everything I thought was important shifted completely.

It’s so common for expectations to change when you move from pregnancy to actually living life with a newborn. Here’s what I wish I knew back then.

During Pregnancy: What I Thought Was Important

The Nursery
I obsessed over paint colours, matching sheets, and drawer organisers. I wanted it to be perfect. But truthfully, your baby won’t sleep in there for months! If I could go back, I’d spend that time reading about newborn sleep instead of researching nappy creams (for the record, it’s always Sudocrem).

Reading and Research
I devoured books about pregnancy and labour but skimmed past the newborn chapters. I focused on my pregnany apps and I thought the fourth trimester would just happen naturally. Spoiler: it’s a whole new world — and one that deserves just as much attention.

Feeding Products

Jokes on me, my baby never took a bottle or dummy so the pumps and sterilisers I was looking at and comparing online wouldn’t have mattered. I was smart enough not to buy that stuff while pregnant so, there’s that!

Daydreaming About Night Feeds
I imagined peaceful late-night cuddles, catching up on my favourite shows while my baby fed. The reality? Desperately wanting her to go back to sleep, watching the clock, and feeling a mix of love and exhaustion I’d never experienced before.

I’ll never forget that relief of seeing the sun come up — the quiet joy of knowing I made it through another night.

After Baby Arrived: What Actually Mattered

Sleep and Feeding (for both of us)
Everything revolved around sleep and feeding. Not in a rigid way, but in survival mode. Understanding my baby’s cues, awake times, and rhythms became everything.

Immediate Needs
Suddenly, the tiny details; burping, swaddling, nappies, were my whole world. The simplest things felt like milestones.

Flexibility Over Plans
All my carefully thought-out birth and feeding plans went out the window. I learned to tune in to my baby, not the textbook.

My Own Recovery
I wish I had understood how much I would need to recover, physically, emotionally, hormonally. The fourth trimester is not just about the baby’s adjustment, but ours too.

Finding Support
I learned that asking for help wasn’t a weakness, it was essential. Whether it was my partner, my mum, or a professional, I needed a village.

Emotional Wellbeing
The emotional side of becoming a mum was something no book could prepare me for. The love, the worry, the exhaustion, the joy — it’s a rollercoaster.

What I Know Now

Every parent’s journey looks different. What I thought mattered before baby arrived was all about control and preparation. What mattered after was connection, support, and giving myself grace.

If you’re in that blurry, beautiful fourth trimester, please know, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just adjusting to a new rhythm.

And if you ever feel lost in those long nights or short naps, remember, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help.